Some things to stop tolerating in your life

If we practise mindfulness and always remember impermanence, we can work towards changing many of the things mentioned below.

1.The decision to settle for mediocrity. – It’s not always about trying to fix something that’s broken. Sometimes it’s about starting over and creating something better. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly. Sometimes growing up means growing apart from old habits, relationships, and situations, and finding something new that truly moves you – something that gets you so excited you can’t wait to get out of bed in the morning. That’s what life is all about. Don’t settle.

2.Your own negative thinking. – Your mind is your sacred space. You can close the windows and darken your space, or you can open the windows and let light in. It’s your choice. The sun is always shining on some part of your life. What do you typically think about? How far you’ve come, or how far you have to go? Your strengths, or your weaknesses? The best that could happen, or the worst that might come to be? Pay attention to your self-talk. Because maybe, just maybe, the only thing that needs to shift in order for you to experience more happiness, more love, and more success, is your way of thinking.

3.Other people’s negativity. – If you don’t value yourself, look out for yourself, and stick up for yourself, you’re sabotaging yourself. You do not have control over what others say and do; but you do have control over whether or not you will allow them to say and do these things to you. You alone can deny their poisonous words and actions from invading your heart and mind. Remember, if you do not respect your sacred inner space, no one else will either.

4.Unhealthy relationships. – Choose your relationships wisely. Being alone will never cause as much loneliness as the wrong relationships. Be with people who know your worth. You don’t need lots of friends to be happy; just a few real ones who appreciate you for who you are. Oftentimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength. We walk away not because we want others to realize our worth, but because we finally realize our own worth.

5.Dishonesty. – Inner peace is being able to rest at night knowing you haven’t used or taken advantage of anyone to get to where you are in life. Living a life of honesty creates peace of mind, and peace of mind is priceless. Period. Don’t be dishonest and don’t put up with people who are.

6.A work environment or career field you hate. – If it doesn’t feel right, don’t settle on the first or second career field you dabble in. Keep searching. Eventually you will find work you love to do. If you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop. You’re on to something big. Because hard work isn’t hard when you concentrate on your passions.

7.Being disorganized and unprepared. – Get up 30 minutes earlier so you don’t have to rush around like a mad man. That 30 minutes will help you avoid speeding tickets, tardiness and other unnecessary headaches. Clear the clutter. Get rid of stuff you don’t use.

8.Inaction. – The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing; growing happens when what you know changes how you live. You can’t change anything or make any sort of progress by sitting back and thinking about it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. The best time to start is now.

9.The lingering of unfinished business. – There’s nothing more stressful than the perpetual lingering of unfinished business. Stop procrastinating. Start taking action to tie loose ends. Putting something off instantly makes it harder and scarier.

10.The choice to mull over past mistakes and regrets. – If you feel like your ship is sinking, it might be a good time to throw out the stuff that’s been weighing it down. The next time you decide to unclutter your life and clean up your space, start with the things that are truly useless, like old regrets, shame, and anger. Let it go. You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep rereading your previous one.

11.A mounting pile of personal debt. – Financial debt causes stress and heartache. Live a comfortable life, not a wasteful one. Do not buy stuff you do not need. Do not spend to impress others. Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects. Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you. Always live well below your means.

12.Your reluctance to say what you need to say. – Everyone has this little watchdog inside their head. It’s always there watching you. It was born and raised by your family, friends, coworkers and society at large, and its sole purpose is to watch you and make sure you stay in line. And once you become accustomed to the watchdog’s presence, you begin to think it’s opinion of what’s acceptable and unacceptable are absolute truths. But they’re not truths; they’re just other people’s opinions. Remember, the watchdog is just a watchdog, he just watches. He can’t actually control you. He can’t do anything about it if you decide to rise up and go against the grain. No, you shouldn’t start shouting obscenities and acting like a fool. But you must say what you need to say, when you need to say it. It may be your only chance to do so. Don’t censor yourself. Speak the truth – your truth – always.

~Marc & Angel Hack



A few good things

Throwback to one week before I left my last job, a few good things x awareness –

Often, multi-tasking has been sold as a good deal, a good skill. In fact, my primary school teacher used to train us hard at this. So I grew up feeling proud of this attribute, and this was further reinforced as a very useful skill set for work. But like all over dosages in life, I come to realise how tiring and worn out every day has become when I am always rushing, always multi-tasking with my brains ‘partitioned’ into portions for various activities. When was the last time I can really focus? Why does it seem like my memory is getting worse and there are more slip ups in my judgement call?

I have basically lost my sense of awareness and ability to focus on a single issue properly, what more several issues together.

This year, I will start to return to simplicity and re-learn how to focus (like babies for example, they focus really well even on smallest task like grabbing someone’s finger and hold onto it really tight) and build up my sense of awareness. When I speak to my loved ones, I shall be paying full attention. When I eat, I shall enjoy the food and the company. When I travel, I shall thoroughly enjoy myself and live in every moment.

Yesterday, I focused on ironing my clothes (it’s somehow therapeutic for me). Today, I focused on catching up with people at work as I am unlikely to see once I leave my current job. Just now, I focused on the good company of W.

A few good things are all we need in life, so focus.


W once share with me this story:

A poor man once walked past a Buddha statue in the rain, took off one of his shoes and placed it on the Buddha statue’s head, to shield it from the rain. The poor man then walked away with one foot bare. Very shortly, a rich man passed by the same Buddha statue and was taken aback by the sight of a ragged old shoe capping the Buddha statue and took it away immediately before giving the statue a good wipe on the head.

So, who is kind?

Both are, they both acted with kind intentions at heart.


Throwback to end Mar whereby I wrote about impermanence –

Tomorrow, I will be jetting off to somewhere 4 hours away for a holiday with my family.

In light of the recent MH370 incident, we can only remind ourselves on a daily basis to feel blessed, be contented and be grateful for whatever we have, despite the fears deep in my heart about flying, about leaving my little comfort zone. I am that unadventurous. But, I am grateful to be taking a holiday with my loved ones, and I will commit to having fun and creating wonderful memories with them.

I’m bringing along with me Sri Sri Ravi Shankar ’25 Ways To Improve Your Life’ to read aboard the flight there. Interestingly, this was purchased at the Bombay Airport last November during my very last work trip for a company I used to work for.

I end with an excerpt of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar’s article:

See the impermanence in this life.

Millions of years have passed and millions more will come. Nothing is permanent. In this broad, universal context, what is your life? It is not even a drop in the ocean.

Just open your eyes, and ask, “Who am I? Why am I on this planet? What is my lifetime?”

An awareness dawns, and you will stop worrying about little things. All smallness will simply drop and you will be able to live every moment of your life.

Habit Energy

Just yesterday, I blogged about awareness. And today, during my routine read of Your True Home, the everyday wisdom of Thich Nhat Hanh, I came across another good read – Habit Energy.

“HABIT ENERGY is pushing us; it pushes us to do things without our being aware. Sometimes we do something without knowing we’re doing it. Even when we don’t wait to do something, we still do it. Sometimes we say, “I didn’t want to do it, but it’s stronger than me, it pushed me.” So that is a seed, a habit energy, which may have come from man generations in the past.

We have inherited a lot. With mindfulness, we can become aware of the habit energy that has been passed down to us. We might see that our parents or grandparents were also very weak in ways similar to us. We can be aware without judgement that our negative habits come from these ancestral roots. We can smile at our shortcomings, at our habit energy. With awareness, we have a choice; we can act another way. We can end the cycle of suffering right now.”

I keep a copy of this book around me and go through some of the learnings frequently. The book lists down 365 daily wisdom for us to learn something new everyday.



Awareness, one of the first things that I am trying to incoporate into my life since my deep diving into Buddhism – a further exploration of my own religion that I found my belief in since teen days.

With better awareness, we can better become the person that we want to be. Be it a more patient self – be aware and stop before I snap.
Be it a more upbeat self – be aware before I think of a slightest bit of negativity, embrace it gently and learn to let go.
Be it a more learnt self – be aware and accord more time to learn, listen and stay humble.
Be it a healthier self – be aware of how much more I can do for my body through practising my yoga every day, and laughing harder and louder as long as I am happy.

It may sound simple, but I am also very much aware that I am still on a learning process.

‘Do not fight against pain, do not fight against irritation or jealousy. Embrace them with great tenderness, as though you were embracing a little baby. Your anger is yourself, and you should not be violent toward it. The same thing goes for all of your emotions.’ Quoted from You Are Here, by Thich Nhat Hanh